Monday, June 13, 2011

My Past and My Changes

I put a lot of thought behind what I did and what the Lord told me a few weeks ago. My blog is about changing, and it's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm going to start with superficial things, just to get them out of the way.

I plan on working out, two times a day, once at six AM and another time at seven PM, to reduce my anxiety and stress level. I remember that I use to be super giddy when I did that, so why not? Also, in affect, I am not allowed to eat super sugary things: only three times a week. This is for my blood sugar health because of my pre-diabetes and heart issues (yes, I all ready have these problems. I'm like a freaking 45 year old). This is also because it's not doing me any good.

I also plan on getting my hair weaved and chopped. Not short, because I'm aiming for long hair, but I want a different look. I also plan on weaving my hair with red, because I think it's pretty. It will be subtle, because it needs to look natural. Along with this, I am going to touch up my tattoo, cause it needs it and I want the lines to fill in all the way. Just saying.

My change is also reaching to my heart. I plan and will be doing morning devotionals before I leave for work, because I haven't been spending the right time with the Lord. I've been in myself, and I realized it's because I think my value is in this world, and I need to get my head out of the sand and know my only value is in Christ and Him alone. He must be my number one.
This also means learning that since my value is in Christ, nothing else matters, and if I am to pursue anything or anyone, it must be for the glory of Christ. So far, I haven't thought of anything that is a distraction/doesn't give glory to Christ. In fact, someone actually helped me out. I had a lot, and still have a lot of regret. But this person has helped me start a new mindset of valuing Christ, and it's started with trust and restraint toward my old self. I must not succumb to what I use to do/be. It is a valuable experience, but I must live the life Christ placed in front of me. This means pursuing people, and my career as a teacher, as he commanded. My relationships are along with his command, and that gives me hope. This also means living for today.

I need help, folks. As easy as change is, it's actually a tough thing to get by. I need support, and most of all, mentorship and prayer. Because my life is a song, and a unique one, I will need help. You are part of my voice. Christ is number one, but I always need a support system.

If you are reading this, thank you for consideration. Thank you for your thoughts. Thank you for your prayers.