Sunday, April 3, 2011

This last week has been difficult.

This week has been very difficult for me. In fact, it's been one of the hardest. Juries are in three weeks time, I feel very lost with that.
There is pressure on me about the spring concert, because of the big piece in band. I wasn't worried about the Requiem part, until Pat said something about Loren being worried. And so now, of course, I'm worried. The only escape I've had is play D&D Friday with my boys and twin (I call her that, she's not really, we're just really freaking similar) and the writers group on Saturday. I have no escape. I feel like the weight of the semester is on my shoulders.
So, on top of all this, I've gone numb. Emotionally numb. I didn't even know this was possible. I really don't feel anything. At all. The only thing that gets me remotely close to feeling anything is listening to Rammstein. I think it's the music itself (they don't use basic chords) and the darkness to it. Don't worry, folks, I'm not going emo anytime soon. It's mostly the singer's voice, too, because it's so pure and beautiful. Haha. I honestly think its the stress behind everything, and my mind is in defensive mechanism. So, I am planning on going to the counseling center, to see what is going on with me. Maybe it's just a stress thing, I don't know. I hope everything starts getting better.
All I need at this point is interaction with people.

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